Parenting – The Discipline Dilemma

Seven and a half years ago, I wrote my first article on parenting.  This was informed by my love of children and my desire to see them grow, day by day, in the knowledge and wisdom of the word of God, thus laying a firm holistic foundation for them in future.  Today, my second born son, who was nine years then, is sixteen and a half.  How years pass!

As I reviewed the articles in my blog – this particular article – drew my attention.  Discipline!  How many of us parents have stumbled in one way or the other when it comes to disciplining children?  Let’s examine my experience of 7.5 years ago. Discipline in growing up children!!  Many a parent will bear me witness that discipline is not easily achievable especially without consistency by the parent.  But this is even more of a challenge when as a parent you do all that it takes – all that you know, and yet according to you, you do not achieve your objective.

This last week, I have been struggling with an aspect of discipline with one of my boys.  One week ago, I sat down with him and talked, counselled, prayed, laughed and cried together!!!  And after that, I was so elated, deeply settled in my heart knowing that this talk was truly penetrating to his heart and that whatever he had done, he would not repeat.  That he understood the consequences and that with Christ, he would have the strength not to conform to the world, but be transformed by the word of God.

My excitement didn’t last for two days.  On the second day, not only did he repeat exactly what he had done, but also did something else different which was not completely acceptable.  You can start imagining what I felt – down, almost broken, and I was wondering – my God, what and how do you want me to deal with this young man. 

I felt like I would give him a thorough beating, but I resolved that this would not do.  I sat down with him and after another talk, forgave him.  In two more days, something else was done. This time round, I denied him his best programme on TV – he could not watch anything, and he could also not go out to play.  After some time, he cooled down, but with his hyperactivity, I could see that he was struggling between obedience and throwing in the towel. 

After a number of observations, I decided (and since this is something I have learnt of him over time now), that the best measure of discipline was to deny him a trip which was forthcoming.  He did not seem to mind this, but the only question was, “are you also doing this to bro?”  He however later on came and apologized, though I had made up my mind that he would not take the trip.

As I write this piece, I know many parents out there have faced something like this or close.  Where you feel you have varied all forms of discipline you know of.  You even know the temperaments of your child and how he responds to different situations and circumstance and yet, you are truly caught off guard by the turn of events. 

It is upon this that I conclude that, besides all the measures we take, let’s learn to surrender our children fully to God. – dedicate and re-dedicate them to God.  God knows them better than we do.  He has a good plan for them. 

As a parent, do the best you can and leave the rest in the arms of God.  It can be discouraging, but do not give up especially because children can very easily be used of the devil to torment you and bring you down.  They use the spirit of manipulation and as a parent, you might feel worn out.  Do not give up.  Discipline (character and virtues) is not acquired in a day.  This is a process.  Be patient and ask the Lord for his divine guidance. 

Let me have your thoughts and experiences on the same.